i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
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This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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