Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
