addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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