what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Fuck appropriateness.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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