I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
