I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
