we're chasing vodka with high fives
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
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Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
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Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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