I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize