Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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