dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
