She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
