it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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