I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
