Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
