I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
