you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
