So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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