you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize