Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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