Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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