i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just found puke in my bra..
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
