I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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