She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
