it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize