WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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