Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
