hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Randomize
