He is an equal opportunity slut.
My balls are so social today.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
