Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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