I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
my poor anus
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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