absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Welp...herpes.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
