It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
