his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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