i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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