so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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