once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
There r osticjed everywhere
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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