imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
