i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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