bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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