As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
