do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
