I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
found the other keg... it's in the tree
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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