woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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