Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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