oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
