Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
