just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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