It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
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