You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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