So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
