the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
