I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
BRING THE BAGELS
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
