i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
