No awkward lesbian experiences without me
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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