how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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