my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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