My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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