The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm both gender and math confused
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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